September = Wash

Between being absent during the first part of September, getting a cold, having to go to the Tri-Cities for at least two weekends, getting yet another cold, I feel like September was basically a wash.

The entire month was spent doing something other than what I was supposed to/actually wanted to be doing, like working out. Yeah, I've pretty much lost some weight, as measured by my new pant size, but I don't know how much and since I'm probably fluctuating a lot due to illness, I see no point in trying to weigh myself. I have noticed that certain parts of my body are getting smaller and tighter. My upper arms, for instance, are definitely smaller and I feel like the skin there seems less fatty than usual. My calves, too, are smaller, which my grandmother's boots can now testify too. Perhaps I just needed some time for all the exercise of August and small parts of September to catch up? Or is that wishful thinking?

I also learned, during September, that I'm apparently going to Maui. Woo hoo! The trip was scheduled for either November or December, but because of scheduling conflicts, it will probably be more like February. Not complaining though--at least I'm going.

The California trip, however, is a different matter. Scheduled for late October, Grandma and I were supposed to fly down there, spend ten days doing whatever we wanted, then come up just in time for Halloween. But because Grandpa recently had some abdominal pain (another setback of September), Grandma doesn't want to leave and, let's face it, it probably wouldn't be any fun to go by myself. So, the California trip has been postponed, probably until Christmas-ish.

Talk about utter disappointment.

I fully intend to make it up to myself though. Even my trip to the coast was just an appetizer; it only whetted my appetite for more travel. I want to experience life, the life I denied myself for so many years for God knows how many reasons. I feel more creative when I'm even just planning trips, or trying to find ways to go to a place I've never been.

To make up for not going to California soon, Joe and I are heading to Leavenworth, WA, towards the middle of October. It's some sort of Bavarian-themed little town that has lots to do and even more during the winter. Since I've never been here and it's only a couple hours from the Tri-Cities, why the heck not?

Ironically I'm trying to make that something of a motto: why not? Why not try something? Who cares if I do or don't? Nobody--exactly.

With this second stupid cold almost done, I'm going to throw myself on the mercy of my personal trainer. I'm going to throw myself into writing my novel. I'm going to throw myself into traveling all over the Pacific Northwest, since travel outside it probably won't happen until I have more money.

And now that I have a friend who is currently on her way to the East Coast of the U.S., I may just head that way too (after the money thing). What the heck is this year for, if not to find different ways to amuse myself?

I find that I cannot dedicate everything to just weight loss and writing. Frankly, my writing would be pretty damn boring if all I wrote about was weight loss and how emo I am. So travel it is, experiencing life, throwing myself after everything and everyone.

With a few exceptions, anyway. My experiment is mostly to examine who I am without being something to somebody. I've come to realize that some of the pressure I was feeling was playing so many roles to so many people that I had no idea what I was just to myself. I'm not looking for a one-word definition here. I just want to cruise through different experiences and see how I react to them.

For example, I've never done extremely well in crowds for long periods of time. I'm not necessarily a people-person and probably never will be. This is why I'm not entirely sure I'm liking the idea of being in New York City on New Year's Eve. We're talking millions of people in the same space that I'm going to want to occupy. This very thing is the reason it's never been an event that makes me say "oh my god, I have to do that".

But when my friend planted it in my head today, I was so proud of myself. Because I said "why not?"

Just because there will be millions of people there shouldn't dissuade me, right? I can't be a hermit my whole life, just because it's what I know and what I tend to do when left to my own devices.

Why not?

So Leavenworth: baby, here I come. I'm going to eat tons of your chocolate, probably drink a German beer or two, consume tons of those sausages even though it's probably not a good idea, and I'm going to pick up a nutcracker. Just because.

New York: you and I will have to come to terms about cost and all those people you have crawling all over you, but I think we can work it out. I look forward to checking out your ... ball. ;)

California: darling, I know that we've been planning our rendezvous for over a year now, but unforeseen circumstances are keeping us apart. Soon, babe, soon.

Maui: you know, I had no idea I was going to get to see you any time soon, but now that the plan is in motion, I'm really looking forward to the time we'll spend together.

And the other places I've been wanderlusting about, like Seattle, Portland, Vancouver BC, etc.: darlings, it won't be long before I have you on the list too.

I suppose this is what they were talking about when they said that sailors had girls in every port. My ladies will be the cities themselves.

And baby, either I'm going to rock your world or you're gonna rock mine.