Ultimate way to tone hips and thighs is, ultimately, not for me

Do I get points for trying? A+ for effort? B-? C???

No? Okay. Just thought I'd ask.

Bodystep is the "ultimate" way to tone your hips and thighs, according to the marketing people behind these Body classes.

The only "ultimate" thing I ever want to see again is the ultimate way to get my chocolate intake for the day.

When I went in for the class today, I had my hopes--and hips--up. I had some doubts about that weird step thingy, but hey, I'll try just about anything at least once. The instructor was one I'd taken a Bodypump class from before, and while I wasn't a fan of her style, I knew she'd work my ass off.

I didn't know that she went for other body parts.

I had two options in that class: either try and keep up with everyone else, watching the instructor's shoes to see what the hell she was doing and not pay attention to where the weird step thingy was going to move itself (and it does move itself, I promise you) OR watch the weird step thingy and look like an idiot who just kept to the very basic steps of 1 2 3 4. (Sometimes I'd even go up to 8!)

I chose the first option initially, thinking it was perfectly safe because everyone else obviously knew where their weird step thingy was going to be. This became the wrong choice so quickly, so clearly, that I didn't even finish the last 10 minutes of the class. It was pretty close to the 45th time I almost killed myself trying to either step off or step onto the weird step thingy that I gave up in my head. My tolerance for the whole class ran out completely when I stepped down and rolled my ankle. The weird step thingy is either on wheels or is alive and it suddenly decided that it was tired of being stepped on, so it took revenge with me.

I am now rethinking my policy on trying anything at least once.

I know, I know. Nessa, is it really necessary to WHINE about these things? Can't you give it another chance and see if maybe you can learn all the same moves as the little sticks who pretend they're actually girls?

Yes. Yes it is necessary. Thanks for asking. Yes, I could give it another chance. I'll be sending you the medical bill when I end up in the hospital after falling off the weird step thingy and impaling myself with my water bottle.

Needless to say, I'll be sticking with the Bodypump, Bodyflow and yoga classes. Eventually I'll work up the courage to go check out the martial arts classes, something about tae kwon do and Brazilian jiu-jitsu.

....Brazilian jiu-whatsu? Isn't it supposed to be Asian? Whatever, moving on....

You can now be a little proud of me. In addition to all the journaling and blogging (no, not the same thing), I'm starting my novel. Well, a different idea for a different novel. In a completely different genre than what I usually go for.

Hey, I'm allowed to experiment, right?

Either way, I'm going to be posting the first chapter soon, just to see if I can get any feedback on it.

Yoga and Bodyflow tomorrow, to make up for my newfound Bodystep intolerance.